emotional abuse

Emotional Abuse – The ‘Cinderella’ Story

The fairy tale of “Cinderella” is well known among all of us. Apart from the protagonist, the one character that leaves a haunting mark in our minds is her step mother. As the arch-enemy of Cinderella, Lady Tremaine doesn't harm her stepdaughter physically. Rather, she seeks to punish and abuse her psychologically, motivated by her jealousy of Cinderella being far more beautiful and graceful than her own awkward daughters. 

Last day, a caller (a girl) from Trivandrum had a strikingly similar story to tell us. The girl pleaded that she and her sister be rescued from their house. The reason: Emotional harassment from their step mother.

When their mother eloped with another man, their father remarried and she from the first day of marriage, hated her stepchildren and did not waste any opportunity to inflict emotional stress.  And after a few years her mother too ganged up with the daughter to scar the children beyond repair. The elder sister was even diagnosed for paranoia due to the effects of her stepmom’s devious actions.  For the past six years, the children Megha (17), Sulekha (12) are regularly subjected to such cruelty. Though they took the matter to the father their father had absolutely no voice in the household matters and they had many filed many cases against him.

Two Detrimental effects of Second marriage

The first one has been depicted in the above case. Physical and emotional abuse form step parents. But the second one is vital and need to be considered by every parent before he/she opts for a second marriage: “adjustment issues of children”

Age of the child is an important factor affecting children's adjustment. Adolescents have a more difficult time than the younger children, in part because adolescence is a time of developmental changes. The formation of a stepfamily also produces change and may generate added stress. Adolescents may show a reluctance to establish ties as they strive for autonomy and turn toward peers for support. Especially for girls, it may be a difficult time for parental remarriage. Whereas younger children may show some reaction and behavioral changes with a remarriage, once a consistent routine is established adjustment problems typically disappear.

It would be absurd to suggest that no differences exist between these children and children living in first-marriage families. On the other hand, we cannot assume that all children in stepfamilies will have problems. It is safe to say that children may encounter temporary difficulties in making the shift from one family to another; ultimately, most children seem to function and develop normally. Moreover, family relations in any family form are complex with numerous factors affecting a child's well-being. Anyway it is important to rmember than if you are looking for a second marriage with children also to be taken care make sure to do it when the children are younger and if they are older have consensus with the kids and even then it can be a nightmare.

As soon as we received the call, CHILDLINE team investigated the case and necessary action was taken to restore the children back to their homes. It was a clear case of acquiring wealth and property. The land and the house they live in are on the names of the children. The step mom and her family needed to throw them out, to get the riches in their hands.

Home is not always where the heart is — a 17-year-old girl and her 12-year-old sister learnt this heartbreaking lesson after their stepmother came into their lives and showed them the door. With a new chapter about to begin, the children are still terrified by the prospect of returning home. With tears dripping from their cheeks, they could only say, “We don’t want to go back. We hate that place”

Chithra Home

Summer Camp at Sree Chithra

Sree Chithra Home run by the Government of Kerala houses over 250 children. Through the intervention of the Child Rights Commission and the district administration Don Bosco kicked of a Summer Camp for the children of Sree Chitra Home inmates on 6^th of April 2016.  “Mazhavillu (Rainbow) 2016” was inaugurated by the district Collector Shri. Biju Prabhakar IAS. The welcome address was delivered by Smt Aliyamma Varghese, Superintendant of the institution. She expressed her heartfelt appreciation to Don Bosco for the great opportunity for children to learn life lessons through fun and frolic.

Fr Thomas PD Director, Don Bosco Veedu Society presided over the inaugural ceremony. Shri.  Biju Prabhakar IAS was extremely delighted to notice the number of smiling faces among the young crowd. He also lauded the efforts put forward by the Don Bosco Veedu Society in creating such a perfect ambience for the children towards holistic development. Words of felicitation were delivered by Ashok Kumar, Staff Secretary of Sree Chithra Home and the local councillor of the Corporation.

The Summer Camp has been designed to impart lots of knowledge and value based learning to children which otherwise is often not received by such children.

vismayam

Vismayam 2016 – Summer Camp Flagged Off

On 12^th of April 2016, Don Bosco Veedu Society inaugurated its 23^rd edition of its summer camp, ‘Vismayam 2016’. The inaugural ceremony was held at Don Bosco Centre,  Manacaud.

Fr Thomas PD, Director, Don Bosco Veedu Society Trivandrum delivered the welcomed the dignitaries on and off the dais along with the eagerly waiting children & their parents. Adv V.K Prasanth, the honourable Mayor of Trivandrum City Corporation was the chief guest at  the function. Prof Aliyar, national award winning dubbing artist and Smt Karthika Kannan, popular cine artist also graced the occasion with their presence.

The dignitaries lit the lamp in unison to mark the beginning of Vismayam 2016. In the inaugural address, the Mayor showered words of praise upon Don Bosco Veedu Society. Efforts made by the Society in the empowerment of Karimadom slum was lauded by him. His request to concerned authorities was to continue the process of delivering fun with academics. Mr Prasanth stressed on the fact that summer camps have become a regular affair but usually gets wound up by the end of May every year.      

On the other hand, Prof Aliyar had something else to tell us which was received with thunderous applause.  25 years back, our guest of honour had the rare and blessed opportunity to lend his voice for the iconic Don Bosco in a movie based on the saint. Prof Aliyar said that he was humbled by the innocent faces of the participants lined up for the camp. He wished them all the best and flagged off the four teams, Red, Blue, Yellow and Green along with Karthika Kannan.

Fr N.K George expressed the words of appreciation. He engaged the participants with an inspiring story that had a strong message on charity; “We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.” We also had our esteemed guest, popular actor Smt Karthika Kannan speak a few words on our summer camp. She was indeed delighted to see the discipline of the participants and the glow in their faces. She advised them to follow a path that their hearts lead to.

And finally Smt Amala P C, senior staff member of Don Bosco Veedu Society conveyed the words of Gratitude to everyone present for the programme.

After the curtains went down on the official ceremony, the cultural fiesta by the summer camp participants began. The children entertained the audience with a wide variety of programmes such as; Semi Classical Dance, Group Dance, Light music, Poem Recitation Action Song, Nadan Pattu etc.

   

VISMAYAM'16-Summer Camp

Don Bosco Veedu Society, Trivandrum

From 1994, Don Bosco Veedu Society conducts summer camps every year for children of the slums in order to motivate the children towards education and holistic development through fun and frolic. The summer camps were opportunity for children to develop their talents and learning of life skills orienting them to be upright citizens.

At the end of the Camp, school stationary such as school bags, notebooks, uniform cloth, pencils, lunch boxes, caps etc are distributed to all the campers.

The children who participated in the summer camp belonged to the following categories:

• Poor Children from Karimadom Colony who are also part of the evening tuition centre.
• Poor Children from the local area near CHILDLINE office
• Deserving children identified from different parts of the districts who dropped out due to lack of finance

The Summer camp consists of classes on personality development, Health and hygiene, leadership, spoken English, music, yoga, skill training and child issues like addiction to drug, social media, mobile etc. It also has plenty of room for both entertainment as well as talent development.

Come join us by registering for this one month long cultural and academical extravaganza.

Help us conduct VISMAYAM'16 summer camp. Donate for the bright future of these young wards. Your contribution goes towards the school stationary and materials 

 ‪#‎Summercamp‬ ‪#‎DONBOSCO‬ ‪#‎Children‬ ‪#‎BeatTheHeat‬

beggary

Decriminalising Beggary – Pros and Cons

Don Bosco Veedu Society has always taken the lead role in the campaign towards the eradication of child begging and child labour. On January 2007, The Society’s efforts had borne fruit. Trivandrum District was declared as Child Begging Free District by the Government, recognizing the efforts of Don Bosco.

Sukhwinder (given name) was a child beggar rescued by the railway rescue booth staff at Thiruvananthapuram Railway Station. The 12 year old boy had one of his eyes covered by a scrap cloth. We rehabilitated the boy to our shelter home. Upon medical examination, it was evident that the child had a clear 10/10 vision for both eyes. He was used for begging and eyes were covered to generate sympathy from onlookers.

 Begging may no longer be a criminal offence if a Bill drafted by the Government seeking to decriminalise beggary is passed. The Bill offers a life of dignity to the beggars, homeless and others who live in poverty or abandonment. The draft ‘the persons in destitution (protection, care and rehabilitation) Bill 2015’ looks at the issue as a social menace. Under the Bombay Prevention of Begging Act, 1959, begging is a crime and a person found begging can be sent to a shelter home or even jail without trial.

The Bill calls for State governments to constitute Outreach and Mobilisation Units in districts and conduct surveys for the purpose of mapping areas and identifying persons in destitution, create awareness among them about the Act and provide them assistance in procuring documents required to avail the benefits of any such scheme or legislation.

There is also provision to establish rehabilitation centres for the care, protection and vocational or skill development training for such people and these centre will be adequately staffed and supported by qualified persons such as doctors, social workers, counsellors and vocational training instructors. The Bill also focuses on establishing separate rehabilitation centres for women and differently-abled destitute and suggests that the existing shelters running for the destitute and homeless to be upgraded in such a manner that it provides comprehensive services for their rehabilitation.

India has over 4 lakh beggars with West Bengal's 81,000 being the maximum among the states, according to official figures. There are 4,13,670 beggars - 2.2 lakh males and 1.91 lakh females - in the country, Minister of State for Social Justice Vijay Sampla said in a written reply in Rajya Sabha today.

West Bengal with 81,244 beggars topped the list followed by 65,835 in Uttar Pradesh, 30,218 in Andhra Pradesh, 29,723 in Bihar and 28,695 in Madhya Pradesh. Incidentally, in Assam, Manipur, and West Bengal female beggars outnumbered their male counterparts. However, the Union Territories recorded the least number of beggars. The archipelago of Lakshadweep has only two beggars as per the government record, followed by Dadra Nagar Haveli, Daman and Diu and the Andaman and Nicobar islands with 19, 22 and 56 respectively. Of all the UTs, Delhi recorded the largest number of beggars - 2,187 followed by Chandigarh with 121.

Among the north-eastern states Assam topped the list with 22,116 beggars while Mizoram with 53 was ranked lowest. Around 22 states/UTs have adopted or brought in legislation against begging, the minister said.

If money is given directly to child beggars, there’s a very good chance that we’re actually lining the pockets of criminals who will in turn use it to kidnap, rape, and maim even more kids. What if we don’t give them money? Then the situation is even more devastating since enslaved children who return to their captors without money are beaten and tortured. However, by giving them money, we are encouraging the vicious cycle and finance a horrific business model, putting their future in grave danger. Summing it up, when we give money directly to children, we hurt more than we help.

Government must provide free education to the people who are under poverty line and must tell them the importance of studying, the importance of hardwork and the importance of finding  happiness. It will come, when they will work for themselves and their family also they must be educated about child labour and also tell them it is not good for their children to work in such a small age as this is an obstacle in their child’s physical and mental growth.

Our work continues as long as there are children in distress in Trivandrum   

csa

Gender in Sexual  Abuse

Previous weekend CHILDLINE witnessed another sensational case that rocked the moral ethos of our very foundation. A child sexual abuse was reported from the outskirts of the capital city. The 13 year old boy was sexually abused and assaulted by one of his neighbours continuously for the past four years. Upon thorough evaluation, we found out that the abuser (neighbour) happened to be his close relative.   

The victim also had a younger brother, who was always left with many duties by the abuser during the day time. He was left to fetch different things by the neighbour and during his absence the victim was abused. On holidays, the abuser used to take him, to the former’s house for such unnatural activities.

But the father’s response regarding the matter baffled us completely. It was as if he was not interested in taking the case forward, and wanted to hush it up. The main reason the abuser happened to be their relative and the boy seemed alright. Even the people belonging to the locality seemed undeterred about the case. Since the victim, was a boy child, the problem failed to create a reasonable impact. Similar experiences in the case male children calls for deep thought.  

According to the latest data available with the state Home Department, 1,297 male sexual abuse cases were reported during the last five years - from May 18, 2011 to October 30, 2015 while 2,741 minor girls were sexually abused during this period. As per the figures, 293 male child abuse cases were reported till October 2015, 354 cases in 2014 and 286 cases in 2013.

Malappuram tops the table with 72 cases while Alappuzha comes second with 28 cases and Kasargod third with 27 cases. No such incident was reported in Kochi city police limits.

“Abusers prefer male child than girls as a safe option. Abusers experiment with the things they learn from the internet and other media on children,” said Dr Arun B Nair, associate professor, Department of Psychiatry, who conducted a research in this regard. “At present, many mild abuse cases go unreported,” he said.  The report, published in the Academic Medical Journal of India in February 2014, said boys were being abused more than girls: 38.67 per cent boys against 37.7 per cent girls according to the study conducted among 1,000 children in the age group of 13-16 years across the South Indian states.

The attitude of the society is such that often sexually abused male children are not given sufficient attention as that of girl children. People would prefer to hush it up than ‘endanger’ the good name of the family. Often the traumatised children are not given sufficient help to overcome their issues and later on they grow into abusive adults endangering the lives of many more children.

There is a serious need for sensitising the public to this issue and remove the gender bias about the same and take serious action against the offenders. Though the POCSO act is a gender neutral law the need of the hour is more awareness creation in this regard.